The Times, May 4, 2018

Here is another intro where the word ‘but’ has been completely misunderstood. It means that something unexpected follows. The intro just won’t work in this form. You could try something like this:

After the installation of 15,000 panes of glass and the assembly of 69,000 components, the Temperate House at Kew reopened last night.

or this:

After a five-year restoration costing £42million, the Temperate House  . . .

I would say ‘conservation architects Donald Insall Associates, who will  oversee . . .’ not ‘which’. It is a group of people, not things.

In the context of Kew, a ‘biomass plant’ sounds like one of the residents, not machinery. To make it clear it should say a ‘biomass power plant’. And what is ‘cathodic protection’? I would bet good money the sub didn’t know.  I looked it up and it is very technical. If you don’t know what something is, or can’t explain it, leave it out.

 

 

 

 

Stormy Daniels case: Trump denies campaign funds paid off porn actor

BBC News Online, May 3, 2018

‘Actor’ is being used more and more instead of the traditional ‘actress’, and a lot of people detest it. So do some performers, but many others prefer it. This article from The Stage gives both points of view (warning of bad language):

https://www.thestage.co.uk/opinion/2017/mark-shenton-actor-actress/

I would always use ‘actress’ – in fact, is it not ‘patriarchal’ to opt for the masculine version? Why not call both men and women ‘actresses’? – but you need to make your own decision.

 

 

i newspaper, May 2, 2018

Given the choice, would you put ‘singer’ or ‘George Michael’ in the heading?

This is what I would have done:

George Michael shrines to be taken down

‘The late George Michael’? Would you put the story in the paper if you thought readers did not know he was dead? You need ‘late’ only when someone has recently died, and there is a possibility that not everyone knows, as in ‘The seat was held by the late Fred Smith’, or when the people in a story are not well known, as in ‘Mr Brown took over the farm from his late father’.

Three quotation marks is excessive.

‘Up until’ is ignorant. You could say ‘until’ or ‘up to’.

The Times, April 26, 2018

My scanner could not cope with the whole article, but the caption is self-explanatory. This is an error of editorial judgment rather than subbing – how can you possibly suggest that certain artworks are copied or derived from others without showing the originals? Done this way, it is pointless.

The Times, April 26, 2018

A headline must be an accurate reflection of the story, but there is no mention of loans here. Indeed the expression ‘had given modest sums’ sounds like gifts. In fact it seems from other sources that Ms Bulford mentioned ‘loans and advances’. I presume that has been cut. You can’t write a headline on what you imagine to be there.

Daily Express, April 23, 2018

It used to be considered correct to put ‘an’ before a word beginning with ‘h’ in which the second syllable was stressed, as in ‘horrific’ and ‘horrendous’. These days it looks precious. Don’t use ‘an’ before ‘hotel’ either. The only time to use ‘an’ before a word beginning with ‘h’ is when the ‘h’ is silent, as in ‘honour’ or ‘hour’.

It would have been nice to have a full point at the end of the third par, but perhaps it was too much trouble.

The Times, April 21, 2018

‘Relish’ is a transitive verb, which means it must have an object, in the same way as ‘like’ or ‘enjoy’. You couldn’t put ‘She liked that some members would be upset’. The sentence could be ‘She relished the prospect that some members would be upset’ or ‘She relished the fact that . . .’

An intransitive verb does not have an object. Examples include ‘sneeze’ and ‘die’.

TODAY’S PUZZLE

i newspaper, April 18, 2017

As far as I can see, a ‘clammer’ is one who digs for clams. The story says nothing about a ‘clamour’ for refunds. So what on earth is this meant to mean?

The Times, April 18, 2018

Caledonia was the Roman name for Scotland but there is no place called that now except in a romantic or poetic sense.  The picture was taken in the Caledonian Forest. The name of the competition is Mammal Photographer of the Year, not Mammals. I don’t think it is up to the Times to say whether the winning picture is ‘clever’. That is for the readers to decide.

The Times, April 17, 2018

The function of a paragraph is that it contains one idea. At the same time it is newspaper practice to have a full line at the top of a leg. It does look odd to have a short line, as you often have at the end of a paragraph. Here the person responsible for the appearance of the page has taken the easy way out and simply run two paragraphs together. So you have a paragraph about both rats and the castaway, and it grates. In my view the words should take precedence, and you need to find a different way to do it. This might involve cutting a few words somewhere to change where the end of the paragraph falls. A suitable cut here would have been ‘secure’ from the first full par shown, since a haven by definition is a safe or secure place. You could also take out ‘after a survey of the islands’. Or you could change the size of the picture, in this case the map. It is a pretty pathetic map anyway since you would need a magnifying glass to see where the Shiant Isles are.

Incidentally, ‘castaway’ is a  noun, not an adjective, so ‘castaway woman’ is strange. You could say ‘the female castaway’ or just ‘the castaway’.