#341

The Times, February 1, 2018

You have to be very careful with the conjunction ‘but’. It means that what follows is unexpected. So this intro suggests that it is surprising if a woman who met her husband-to-be when she was a teenager, or one who was pregnant when she married, goes on to achieve a wealthy lifestyle. Beginning the third paragraph begin with ‘but’ suggests that the wife did not deserve the award, when that is not for the Times to say – it is the subject of the hearing being reported.

In any case this is a terrible way to tackle the story. It is near-criminal to have three long paragraphs of background before getting to the ‘yesterday’ line.

However there are obviously some pros at the Daily Express, who showed how it should be done:

Daily Express, February 1, 2018

 

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