#145

The Times, July 14, 2017

Is the Times aimed at adults or five-year-olds? It’s hard to tell from this idiotic intro.

As ever, the story is perfectly good on its own. Delete the first sentence and with minimal changes you get

An elephant which was swept ten miles out to sea has been rescued in a 12-hour operation involving the Sri Lankan army, navy and government officials.

The animal is thought to have trying to navigate a shallow coastal lagoon when it was caught in strong currents and carried out into open water.

Note that this removes the word ‘before’ which appears not only in the headline but in the intro and second par. If you tell the story in logical order it is usually unnecessary. The same applies to ‘after’.

 

 

 

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