i newspaper, May 1, 2017
Devonians?! That is not a word to start a story with, unless you want to signal to everyone who does not live in Devon that they need not read on. In any case, it is wrong. Anyone feeding gulls may be fined, not just Devonians.
This would be my suggested intro:
Feeding the seagulls which flock round popular holiday beaches in Devon could now result in an £80 fine.
This story includes ellipses, or three dots. These should be separated from the preceding word and each other by spaces, thus . . .
i newspaper, May 4, 2017
I think I have seen this ‘stamp of approval’ heading more times than any other, even ‘snakes alive’, ‘unholy row’ and ‘doggone’. It falls into the category of settling for the first banal thing that comes into your head. And ‘get’ is a horrible word. ‘Win’ would be better.
Here is an idea:
The songbirds heading for your letterbox
If you pick out examples from a list in the intro, you don’t repeat them. You say ‘The other birds featured are . . .’
I would prefer ‘Philip Parker of the Royal Mail’ to ‘A Royal Mail spokesman, Philip Parker’.
If the pictures are so exquisite, wouldn’t it be nice to give the artist a credit? A quick glance at the internet reveals that he is Italian Federico Gemma.
The Times, May 4, 2016
What on earth is this about? I presume it was a much longer story which someone decided to reduce to a short. It would have been better to spike it than turn it into gibberish like this.
The Times, May 4, 2017
It’s a charming image – a small furry rodent handing out leaflets. However the word should be the informal ‘gofer’, meaning someone who is asked to ‘go for’ things, or a dogsbody.
And from the same piece:
Oh dear. One of the all-time great cliches.
Paterson, of Altrincham, Greater Manchester, was granted bail and is due to be sentenced in May.
BBC News Online, April 28, 2017
Given that this is April, it should say ‘next month’, not ‘May’.
The Times, April 27, 2017
After reading the intro, the average reader will be thinking: ‘Why will his footballing career be finished if he is banned for 18 months? Oh, he must be getting on a bit. So how old is he?’ But you have to wait until the fifth par to learn that he is 34. You should not leave the reader asking questions. In this case, all that is needed is to say in the second par ‘the 34-year-old Burnley midfielder’.
The Times, April 26, 2017
I have seen this odd expression a few times lately. You can either ‘set foot’ on something, or ‘step’ on to it. ‘Step foot’ is gibberish.
I don’t think you can have an ‘amount’ of photographers. The right word is ‘number’.
The Times, April 25, 2017
As far as I know, they don’t award medals for fourth place. The heading here should be
Sotherton upgraded to bronze
i newspaper, April 25, 2017
(48 words) The obvious unanswered question here is why are they felling it? It took a few seconds to find the answer: because it is dead. And isn’t the George Washington line more interesting than ‘Workers have started . . . ‘ or indeed ‘Crews started the task’? You can take it as read that a tree will be felled by workers. This is how I would do it:
A 600-year-old tree under which George Washington had a picnic is being felled. The white oak next to Basking Ridge Presbyterian church in Bernards, New Jersey, was declared dead last year. A 25ft sapling from one of its acorns is growing nearby. (44 words)
The heading is pedestrian. How about:
Farewell to the
The Times, April 24, 2017
In headlines, ‘as’ is a much-used but rather weary and feeble word. This heading would be much better turned round thus:
Outsiders sweep to victory
in new French revolution