The Times, September 13, 2019
One thing you learn with experience at subbing is not to try to dress up a perfectly good story. Here is a good example. Do we think the readers are children who cannot grasp a narrative unless it is reduced to an everyday situation? You could lop off this intro and make the story ten times better. Everything you need for a good dramatic tale is in the second par.
This is a better way to do it. It’s not perfect but it doesn’t make the reader lose the will to live halfway through the first par:
i newspaper, September 13, 2019