#473

i newspaper, February 25, 2019 (17 words)

Whenever you find yourself thinking of writing the word ‘people’, stop and think again. If the story is about human beings, it is about people and the word is just stating the obvious. There are many alternatives, and in this case there is a  word for people fishing: it is ‘anglers’.

Boscombe is part of Bournemouth. What exactly is ‘southerly air’?

There is a mix of tenses: ‘fish’ (present) and ‘brought’ (past).

A better version of this would be:

Anglers at Boscombe Pier in Bournemouth enjoy the mild temperatures brought by southerly winds from the Canary Islands (18 words)

Adding the word ‘enjoy’ makes the caption a little more than a description of what we can all see. The word ‘brought’ in this case is present passive.

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