The Times, December 13, 2017
(69 words) The line about p-p-p-picking up a p-p-p-penguin is from a 1970s advert, and it has been done to death in the 40-odd years since. I hoped I might have seen the last of it, but some fool has exhumed it. It wasn’t funny even at the time, and what relevance does it have now?
In such a short story, it is a waste of precious words to try a smart intro, even if it is smart, which this one isn’t. How about a comparison with today’s biggest penguin, the emperor, to put it in perspective? And if you are going to explain part of the Latin name, you have to explain all of it.
This is how I would do it:
Man-size penguin
The fossil remains of a giant penguin have been found in New Zealand. The bird, which lived 60million years ago, was 5ft 10in tall and weighed nearly 16st. By comparison, today’s largest penguin, the emperor, is 4ft and up to about 7st. Alan Tennyson, the scientist whose team made the discovery in Otago, has named it Kumimanu (‘monster bird’ in Maori) biceae (after his mother Bice). (68 words)