The Times, July 13, 2017
Q: What has Skegness to do with a story about the possibility of humans living on Titan?
A: Absolutely nothing. It is just another useless attempt at an ‘interesting’ intro.
Here we have a good story, that scientists believe 300million people (a figure left to the last par) could live on Titan. Why mess it up like this? What must Times readers think of this wretched guff?
I think the intro should be
Saturn’s moon Titan has the energy sources to support a human population of 300million, say scientists.
The story needs to say how far Titan is from Earth (varies between 745million miles and 1,025million miles) and how long it would take to get there (probably up to six years).
And what about the heading? ‘Over the moon’?! Honestly. Apart from anything else, according to the story the scientists do not think it will happen, so how can they be excited about it?
I suggest
The frozen moon that could be home to 300million of us