#171

i newspaper, August 1, 2017

(45 words) This terrible heading, with the awful ‘get to’ and a failed attempt to be clever, shows complete lack of understanding of the story. The point is that the bears will no longer be protected, and could be hunted. How is this ‘more freedom’?

The story is bad too.  Starting with ‘The US government’ is one of the sure-fire ways to make readers move straight to another story. And what does it matter which set of officials deals with the bears? This is how I would do it:

Grizzlies in the
hunters’ sights

Grizzly bears in the Yellowstone region of the US are losing their protected status because numbers have climbed to 700 from fewer than 150 in 1973, and a hunting season will probably be introduced. Conservation groups are planning to appeal against the government ruling. (44 words)

 

 

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